I am Hero!

They say that being a Filipino is the pride of the Malay race. But what the world do not know that there is a race in the Philippines who takes more pride. When the Portuguese conquestador by the name of Ferdinan Magallanes stepped ashore the sea of Central Philippines, he saw men, women and children with tattooed skins. To them these people are criminals, "Pintados", the art on our skins where the Spaniards interpreted it as a sign of our savagery, but to the other Philippine races we are the Pintados, the bravest of all kind. Our Gods and Goddesses, which we call "Laon" have created us to guard the central and southern seas of the archipelago. For a Sugbuanon, being a Pintado is of the ranks with the highest honor and the burden of the greatest of all responsibilities: To guard our shores from invasion and to resist any form of conquest from people who sailed from unknown lands. To protect the people that we love, to stand wise and bold midst the cruel passage of time. To step behind one's personal dreams for the benefit of the people around him.

When the conquestador claimed the island of Cebu as under the territory of Spain, the leader of our forefathers by the name of Lapu-lapu, a descendant of the brave Tausug stood up and resisted.

For a Sugbuanon, bravery is not only a principle but a daily attribute, to us being in a battle, be it fighting an enemy, the time or oneself, bravery is the action of moving forward even when the chances of success are murky, as long as it is a battle worth fighting. The Spaniards have underestimated us, the Sugbuanons, the Pride of the Filipino race, so the leader of our forefather Datu Lapu-lapu, stood on our shore and waited for the enemy. The conquestadors sees us as savage and primitive, they look past upon the wisdom that we learn from the passage of time. They have under estimated the strengths that we have acquired under the scourge of the shining sun, and the seasonal drought of time. For a Sugbuanon, violence is not a solution but when provoked, we are the fiercest of all warriors, ready to die in war for the sake of our people.
The Spaniards came in with arrogance and pride, with guns and cannons, of gun powdered filled warships full of men ready to steal our treasure, full of men who have raped out women and children. But we the Sugbuanons came in with our Kampilan and Kalasags, with warriors of bolos and arrows. We may be disadvantage in this war, but for us in our tribe dancing with death is but a common play, war for us is a simple graceful dance and blood shed is merely part of the concert. For a Sugbuanon, to endure any challenges is the measure of courage, to stand amid the frailty and fear is the measure of bravery, for a Sugbuanon the heart that loves and protect is greater than a mind that thinks. And at the end of the battle, the Spaniards have failed, Ferdinan Magallanes was slain and the battle ships were burned and swallowed by our seas, all except for the Battle ship by the name of Victoria who sailed back to the western shore to tell the feat of our tribe and the failure of their Spanish men.
So from then on Lapu Lapu's statue stand guard on our shores assuring us that when a new conquestador , be it in the form of person, challenges or time, will come his children will stood up again to face the fight. Because for a Sugbuanon under the ranks of a Pintado: "The greatest honor is to protect and to die for the people whom we dearly love." I take pride to come from this race, the Pride of the Filipino race, the first heroes of land, the real Pride of the Malay race....

for me, like my forefather who have died in battle....war is but a graceful dance with death....."NEVER RETREAT! NEVER SURRENDER!"

Hey Daydreamer!

In my room I always think of somethings to divert my attention away from my past, something that well lessen the anguish and replace the anger with understanding. I am searching for that wisdom; that inner peace that will make me understand that things that are not meant for me at the present will come in at the right time, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not soon but at the right time. I am looking for that wisdom that will teach me I should not demand from life the things that I want but the things that I need. I am searching for that inner wheel that will fuel my understanding that I should not fall in love because I am lonely but I should fall in love because I am ready to commit. I was taken to a temple by a new acquaintance of mine to tame my bewildered soul. "There is something inside you that is bothering you, you must let it go." She said.

The monk who came to me was old and wrinkled, and I can't even figure out how he managed to walk. When he took my hand, I can feel the wisdom on the surface of his aging skin, he smiled to me and asked me what am I doing here, I said I have no idea. He turned to my new friend and asked her why...after a long talk with him, the old monk looked at me, and guided me to a room. There we sat on the floor and he offered me tea (which was "HOLY MOSES!" I cant understand the taste!). We talked and there he made me realize, that reality has its right time. He understood the pain inside me, He made me list down the things in my heart and contemplate on them, so I did so what he told me to do:

1."Why can't we be together?"

2."I am afraid to let go, will that person think of the same to?"

3."Was I ever loved?"

4."How will I mend the pain inside?"

5."Why is life so cruel?I can surrender anything but why am I not given the chance?"

And as I contemplate on them, small pictures where running in my mind. Pictures of my dreams about us, I was day dreaming (again) and my hopes are again up high that somehow we will meet along the road, that we will still end up meeting each other in this long journey, I smiled blankly in the air. A few seconds later......WAAAAAPPPAAAAAK I felt an intense pain behind my head, the monk hit me.."Wake Up!" he said...that is why your heart is in pain because your soul is attached to what is not yet ripe." I rolled my eyeballs, okay so it does but do I deserve the wack on my head? To heal my soul, he said....I need to heal it the way that only I can do...from there he made me realize that I am in pain, he made me realize that the most agonizing pain are those that are kept inside. So to release the pain, he made me sing.

and sing some more.....

But you know if I have the chance to tell you what's in my day dream? Both of us are talking whole day, we walk down the sunny hill and sit on the bridge and watch the river run. Both of us in my fantasy where laughing...under the rainy sky...playing under the drops of the rain..and in the night...we set under the waxing of the moon, pointing at the stars we wished to own...but then again, this is just my make believe reality...someone should make me realize that your just someone in my mind, your not real and in this lifetime, you will never be real....what more can I say but:

My Sweet Sweet Baby

I am still dreaming of my fairy tale stories, of holding hands running on the flowered spring meadows with you, wrapping you around my arms on the mountain tops watching the night skies as the heaven sparkle down on us, making love to you under the full moon sky and sleeping with you naked under the bed sheets as the snow slowly covers the ice cold air, but here I am....in a far away distance...wishing I have wings to fly to you.

I still am dreaming of walking with you under the bright sun, as I watch the rays glow on your skin, I still dream of sitting down on the bridge with you, eating "mo mo's" (dumplings). I still dream of wanting to make you laugh with my silly jokes.

But here I am lost in the busy and buzzling streets of an unknown land, finding my way back to you. Like a lost puppy, searching up and down, looking for your warm touch.

Sometimes, I feel guilty, of leaving you behind me. Sometimes I feel angry because of this distance between us, sometimes I feel sad because I can't be there with you. Sometimes....sometimes....I miss you so much like how I miss the spicy taste of emadatchi [what the hell (O_O)!].

Sometimes, I pretend to faint here and there, hoping you will come to catch my fall..but unfortunately all I got is pain all over my body.....maybe this new mental disorder is what poets called:"I miss you so much, love"....

Sweet....Sweet.....Sweet..baby...I miss your loving....